Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Wanted: Happy people (shiny not a necessity)

I'm throwing this out there for everyone to see and while I'm not at all proud of it, it's true and I'm going to own it - I'm a negative person by nature.

There. I said it.

I was raised in an incredibly negative household. No one took responsibility for their actions, apologized if they did something wrong or said something wrong or upset someone in any way, or just admitted if they were cranky or in a bad mood. "It" (whatever the issue was) was always someone else's fault. I grew up thinking that was just how it was. I married into a family just like my own. Oh! the negativity! Again, thought it was normal.

I divorced in 2001 and almost immediately met my husband Brian. His family was and still is a breath of fresh, POSITIVE, HAPPY air for me. Unfortunately, while it was and still is refreshing to be around that kind of happy attitude, it didn't really envelope me until recently. I spent the first 6+ years of our marriage as a VERY negative and cranky person - we've only been married 7 1/2 years. How sad is that?! It's sad for my husband, my children, my friends, my husband's family and God most importantly - my family didn't notice a difference. I'm not at all surprised.

I believe God laid it on my heart that I was making the lives of my husband, my children, my friends and myself miserable. I had SO! MANY! BLESSINGS! to be thankful for and I took every one of them for granted.

Recently, I've started to pay close attention to how my body feels around negativity. I'm actually uncomfortable. I feel heavy (and I need NO help with that!). It starts to take over all of my thoughts and feelings and just makes me downright miserable. I can only imagine what it does to the people around me.

I'm learning every day how to deal with negativity and the crankies. I know crankiness is inevitable - I'm sure I'll come down with a bit of it myself from time to time - I'm not that naive. But, I'll own up to it and deal with it.

As far as others are concerned, I've decided to remove as much of the negativity as possible from my life. I know there are people close to me that I can't and won't remove - BUT, I can choose to ignore the attitude and comments that come out of their mouths. I can remove myself from situations that involve negativity. I'll just turn it off :)

From this point on, I'm surrounding myself with happy (shiny is not a necessity!) people - people who are positive about life, people who know they are blessed, people who don't take the true good things in life for granted. I want them all around me - in bloggy world, in Twitter land, in real life.

So, if you are happy and you know it (sorry, I couldn't help myself), let's be friends :) Please leave me a comment and introduce yourself - talk to me. Tell me about yourself. Find me on twitter, I'm Tina aka Mommy23boys.

I'd love to be a positive, happy person for you, too!


Sandra said...

Great post Tina. You know I used to be a negative person but I realized that I spent so much of my time complaining and whining and finding fault with everything around me that I was just not enjoying life. It was horrible.

I made it a point to start seeing the positive in everything and I find myself laughing through the hardest times, it keeps me sane LOL


Jacqueline said...

Hey Tina,

Pleased to meet you. Jacqueline Johns here - The Happiest Person I Know. I too was brought up in a very negative environment - thank God I got out and changed my life!!

I want to congratulate you on noticing your negativity and doing something about it! You go girl! So many people choose not to believe they can change - you are proof that it's possible. My mission is to help the people of this planet enjoy their journey. As well as my website you can follow me on twitter if you wish:

Congratulations on your blog, lets be friends.

Live Life Happy!

Amanda: said...

Awesome! Very well said!

Jodi said...

Great post Tina!

..::Mrs. Staff Sergeant::.. said...

Hi Tina,

Sounds like we have alot in common! I just got your comment about the "middle child syndrome" we're both dealing with :) (thanks for stopping by BTW!)

I am notoriously "glass half empty" myself. I grew up in a family much like you describe. I have to work really hard to stay positive and I hate it when I feel myself reverting back to my old ways. No one wants to be the big black cloud over their home, ya' know?

Good for you for committing to a brighter outlook!

Michelle said...

what a great post! and I bet cathartic too. I admit I have trouble being more positive than negative; sometimes I find myself harping on the negative too much when I should just let it go. I'm going to take a page out of your book and focus more on the positives!

Wifey Dessert said...

I love this post Tina!!! I used to also struggle to be a happier person. I have found out that after a while it comes much easier!! I am so happy that you are challenging yourself and I know that things will be much happier in your neck of the woods!!!