I like living here. I don't love it anymore. The vicious winters have taken their toll on my psyche. I suffer from SAD (acronym fits nicely). Here, winter lasts 6 months. That's 6 months of dark, dreary, cold and snowy days. I loathe snow. I'm petrified to drive in it, which means I'm stuck at home A LOT.
I also have no family here. That's probably a good thing most of the time. But, I have 2 nephews and a niece that I miss terribly. I hate seeing them only 1 or 2 times a year. My boys and my nephews get along famously and it's so much fun to watch them play together. My niece's 2nd birthday party is this weekend and we won't be there. That just makes me sad. I was able to spend lots of time with them when we were back a few weeks ago and it was lovely - really lovely. It's getting harder and harder for me to leave "home" and come back here. I'm trying really hard to "bloom where I'm planted", but I'm struggling (and I've already been here for 2 1/2 years).
My cousins are significantly older - I never truly "grew up" with them, even though I knew them. It warms my heart that my boys have cousins that are SUPER close in age to them (my oldest nephew and my oldest son are 10 months apart and my youngest and my niece are 9 months apart in age) and I could watch them play together all day.
I miss them so much. I miss the area where I lived - where I married, where my first baby was born. I miss the ocean. I REALLY miss the ocean. I was able to dig my toes in the sand and watch my boys play, just like I wanted. It was a little piece of heaven on earth for me. I watched my husband truly relax. I watched my boys and nephews play together and I was able to laugh with my sister - something I haven't done in ages.
It felt good - really good. I don't know when I'll do it again. I keep telling myself that I need to bloom where I'm planted. I wonder how many times I'll have to repeat that to myself.
3 comments:
I have 13 cousins - and the youngest is 10 years my elder. I never really grew up with them, either. I know the feeling. I'm glad to see my kids playing with their cousins now, too.
And for what it's worth, I'm glad you're here!
Tina who??? Glad you are back!
Sometimes it is REALLY hard to bloom where you're planted. I struggle with this a lot. I'd like to think I am getting better at it. We will see over the next few years :)
If my brothers were married and had kids, you can bet my heart would be aching to be where ever they were living. Growing up with family is wonderful (most of the time!).
Glad you had a fantastic time with your family!
-Andrea
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