I failed.

Yes, I cheated. I'll admit it. I am H*U*N*G*R*Y.

I just don't know about this diet. I struggled badly when I did it the first time. The first 2 weeks were pure hell. But, I made it.

This time, it's been MUCH harder. The upside to this diet is that there is nothing processed - everything is fresh and I LOVE that. The downside is that I spend a lot of time in the kitchen prepping, chopping, and cooking all of that fresh stuff. The big boys are fine with it, but the little one....not so much. He's not a big fan of anything that doesn't include my arms. That makes prepping and chopping VERY difficult. The other day, I was able to make veggie chili and quiche while Henry was sleeping - it took 3 HOURS. Ask any mom with 3 little boys - heck, ask any mom of small children and I bet she'll tell you that 3 hours in the kitchen at one time is too much. I had to prep, chop and cook for 3 meals and 2 snacks EVERY DAY. By yesterday, I'd had enough of the prepping and chopping and I just didn't eat. Yesterday, before my husband got home from work, I'd eaten ONE stalk of celery with a few small bites of Laughing Cow Garlic and Herb cheese. I had a cup of coffee and about 10 oz. of flavored water. I'm sick of eggs and turkey bacon....sick, sick, SICK.

So, we went to Romano's Macaroni Grille last night. I was at the point where, if I had to eat another salad, I might curl up into the fetal position and cry. The waiter placed a plate of bread with olive oil dipping seasoning in front of us and I could immediately feel my mouth quiver. I looked at my husband, who had already ripped the bread in half and started inhaling it and said, "I have self control". That self control lasted about 5 minutes. I ate the bread and it was so good. There were 2 loaves on the plate and they were gone quickly, but it wasn't all eaten by me. He brought out more. I ate more. It felt good.

I ordered whole wheat penne with meat sauce and a side caesar salad with low fat dressing. Might that meal cancel out the insane amount of calories/carbs of the bread? Unlikely, I suppose. The waitress brought out the massive bowl of pasta and it was scrumptious. I only ate half. I was proud of myself. I didn't touch Will's fries or Jake's pizza. But, I did eat dessert. Ugh. They have something called Lemon Passion. OH! MY! GRACIOUS! I almost cried while I ate it - it was divine. B ate a bit of it, but I did eat most of it.

I weighed myself this morning - I'm down another pound - 5 lbs. down to date.

I'm modifying our diet - the SBD is out the window.

B and I are off to a Tigers game tonight - IF I drink a beer, it will be a light one. A far as eating is concerned, I'm pleading the fifth. What on earth could be healthy at a ball park? I'll look for something, but I'll admit, I won't be looking THAT hard.

Puttin' it out for the world to see.

There you have it. Today, I started the South Beach Diet Supercharged. My husband has also started it, but he probably won't be hardcore about it like I am. I'm still 2 1/2 lbs. under where I started when I got pregnant with Henry, so I'm happy about that, but I'm NOT happy with how I feel. I just don't feel good about myself and I cringe when I see pictures. I don't like what I see, I want to be a good influence on my children and I want to feel good. I'm at 179.5 lbs.

I've had numerous temptations today and I didn't fail and let myself down. A friend and I took our kids to McDonald's to play today - I ate 2 hamburger patties with NOTHING on them and had a diet coke. I didn't touch a french fry or chicken nugget, even though they were in my face the entire time. They smelled OH! SO! GOOD!, but I looked the other way and sucked down my diet coke...lol

So, I'm hoping those of you that read my blog will help me stay on the straight and narrow - you see where I am and what I'm working toward. We have a wedding to go to in Cape Cod on August 22nd - I want to look FANTASTIC and feel that way, too!